By Choi Yearn-hong
It's a winter day and national holiday in Washington, D.C. and Seoul. All on Earth hope for a wonderful year with new and exciting events. Everyone's planning for something new and great in the coming year. For instance, suppose U.S. President-elect Barack Obama calls President Lee Myung-back the morning of New Year's Day 2009 and begins a conversation:
Obama: Mr. President, the Korean people call this the year of the Ox, although I don't know why. Can you explain what's special about this year?
Lee: This year of the Ox requires a lot of work as only an ox can do. The Ox is known as the hardest-working animal in Korean farming. Korean farmers heavily relied on oxen for their farm work before the mechanization of farm work in the 1980s. The ox does not complain about its heavy workload and has a nice disposition. The global financial meltdown that began in the United States requires your nation to work as an ox. South Korean people are hurt most by the financial disaster because our economy has been dependent on the world's. We Koreans have been naive about the free-market economy and the world economy, based on free trade.
Obama: I understand that the international economic disaster originated on Wall Street and many are angry about the greed and deregulation of the financial world. The U.S. has been glorifying Wall Street for so long and advocating deregulation since President Ronald Reagan was in office in the 1980s. Optimum regulation is always needed because everyone needs to be checked and balanced. Businesspeople are not angels. I feel sorry for South Korea's tragic financial losses because of Wall Street corruption and want to express my apology as the new president. I aim to do something for the Korean people I love.
Lee: I am glad to know where your true heart is. You are a man of justice and fairness. You have been critical of U.S. diplomacy and fought an arrogant military power. You are now coming after Wall Street with the same spirit, and rightly so. U.S. imperialism on Wall Street has hurt the Korean economy and other nations. I hope you can quickly establish a new international order. The US, under your leadership, will be humble and humane.
Obama: You have just started your New Deal with the Four Rivers Project. I admire this new public works project. Stimulating a hapless economy is the government's job. You are a CEO-turned-president. Creating jobs is badly needed. I wish you the best in your new endeavor.
Lee: I am sympathetic to the U.S. bailout efforts for the Big Three-- GM, Ford and Chrysler. They have a precarious future. When Chrysler had a near-death experience before, it was rescued, fortunately, by government-loan guarantees. Lee Iacocca's leadership was remarkable then. I hope the automobile industry can return to better operations under similar leadership. The chief executives of the Big Three automakers and the United Auto Workers unions should jump-start their industry together. I hope for a miracle for these three auto companies. They should not blame their failures on the success of the Korean automobile industry. It's ridiculous! You've been sympathetic to labor unions; they don't deserve your sympathy, which may be part of the problem. Their wages are very high. Furthermore, American CEOs are equally blameworthy, earning million of dollars for running bankrupt companies.
Obama: I agree with you. The Big Three CEOs came to Washington from Detroit on three different private jets because they wanted taxpayers' money. I hope Korea does not have such a pay system for its CEOs…By the way, I have a question to you. Do you want me to push our Congress to ratify the U.S.-Korea Free Trade Agreement? I will review its contents and support it if I think it's mutually beneficial. The political campaigning period is over and I intend to be a rational new president. I am an advocate of real change in the United States. ``Making the U.S. Competitive`` is my motto. Recently, I read a poem titled America by a Korean poet when he first came to Indiana University as a foreign student in 1968 in his 2008 poetry book Moon of New York. It's a hoot, but a serious indictment of the United States as a whole. When I started my presidential campaign, I was in the same mood as the poet. Please read it during a coffee break in the Blue House.
America
Chevrolet, air pollution, union power,
Technology, free rider, sex, go, go, oh, red
Light, speed. Where are you going?
Apple pie, sweet, fat, sugar, don't heat the
Fresh apple, nonsense, I was sweet before I
Came to the USA!
Baseball, Yankees, $5 million, inflation,
Recession, spit, vulgar, lucky strike, out, out
Of diamond, one ball, two balls, three balls,
Four balls, walk and steal.
I'll stop here, Mr. President. I'm going to call Kim Jong-il in Pyongyang. He's expecting me to call. He's naive to believe me during my presidential campaign when I said I'd meet him at any time and any place for peace and denuclearization talks. I'll talk to you soon. Happy New Year!
After a sip of his coffee, Obama called Pyongyang.
Obama: Kim, my dear comrade, how are you?
Kim: Obama, I expected your call, because you told the press during the campaign you would see me at any time and at any place. Anyway, I am OK. I had a mild stroke last year, and am recovering, but I feel very cold here, because of the chronic energy shortage, Siberian winds and sub-zero temperatures. President Bush cut our heavy oil supply.
Obama: I'd like to meet you at any time and at any place, but there's one condition.
Kim: What is it?
Obama: Oh, it's very simple. You should be reasonable. Your people have been starving, but you're testing your missile systems and producing atomic bombs. I am a reasonable man, and I want you to be reasonable. If not, our meeting would be a waste of time.
Kim: I am trying to be reasonable this coming year. Last night, I had a weird dream. God came to me to tell me that I'm old and should finally do something nice. I asked him what and he actually told me to be reasonable and if I didn't I'd go to Hell, so I asked Him to help me, so He said if I did just one nice thing, I wouldn't need to worry." Just before you called, Obama, I was thinking about doing something nice.
Obama: It's a miracle. I recently had a weird dream about calling you. The prophet Moses came and asked me to call you, and you've just told me you met God. Why don't you confess how many atomic bombs you've manufactured and where you stored them? I'll send my men to dismantle them and convert them into farm machines or renewable energy. It will not cost you a penny (I know you're broke). And one other thing! You are an almighty god in North Korea, so you can declare the reunification of the two Koreas. Then I'll immediately withdraw American GIs from the DMZ and relocate them to Afghanistan. I know you've wanted American GIs out of Korea for years.
Kim: I didn't think you knew so much about North Korea. As a matter of fact, I am God to North Koreans. I will help the two Koreas unify before the end of 2009. I expect the Nobel Peace prize in 2010. At the award ceremony, I'll repent of my sins and crimes against humanity. God promised me Heaven under that condition.
Obama: I admire your new way of thinking and your encounter with God was a miracle. I'll help you win next year's Nobel Prize. You will be remembered as the Great Comrade who unified the last divided nation on Earth. You are as great as or greater than your dear friend, Kim Dae-jung, who offered you millions of dollars in secret and received the Nobel Peace Prize several years ago, and you deserve it.
Dear Comrade, when can I visit Pyongyang?
Kim: One day in May would be good. It won't be so cold and Moran Hill will be green again. Plus the women in Pyongyang will be radiant.
Obama: OK, see you in May. Let me know when.
I like the poem, too. It's unique and really describes the feeling of being in the US, especially the city.
This editorial is fictional, reflecting my hopes for United States-Korea relations in 2009. The Korea Times offered me the great privilege of writing a creative story for the New Year’s Day special edition, so I have written one fantastic story.
My story begins with President- elect Barack Obama making phone calls to both South Korean President Lee Myung-bak and North Korea’s Dear Comrade Kim Jong-il.
Through these fictional telephone calls, I share my hopes for what will be the issues between the U.S. and the two countries of the Korean Peninsula in 2009.
I hope the readers understand what I believe should be on Obama’s mind: Obama’s encounter with the global financial crisis and its impact on South Korea and other nations.
The new international economic order must develop a good regulatory system that can send quick signals when it detects corruption and incompetent regulators.
Protection of innocent participants should be the focus, with greater punishment of corrupt businessmen and women and incompetent regulators.
Obama knows the limits of America’s influence on building democracy, economic prosperity and human rights among developing nations in Africa and Asia. I like his understanding of the limits.
However, this understanding is not enough for U.S. policy toward developing nations. Don’t bother them and don’t be bothered! It sounds good. Self-determination of each nation should be nurtured. However, this policy is only half acceptable.
We should not just be spectators on North Korea’s nuclear arms development, because it endangers peace in Korea and the rest of East Asia.
Unfortunately, I see nothing inside or outside of North Korea that can change Kim’s regime. Thus, we hope for a miracle in North Korea.
Let us hope that 2009 sees the world get out of this global financial crisis, bringing the world peace and prosperity.
| Korea in 2009 This editorial is fictional, reflecting my hopes for United States-Korea relations in 2009. The Korea Times offered me the great privilege of writing a creative story for the New Year’s Day special edition, so I have written one fantastic story. My story begins with President- elect Barack Obama making phone calls to both South Korean President Lee Myung-bak and North Korea’s Dear Comrade Kim Jong-il. Through these fictional telephone calls, I share my hopes for what will be the issues between the U.S. and the two countries of the Korean Peninsula in 2009. I hope the readers understand what I believe should be on Obama’s mind: Obama’s encounter with the global financial crisis and its impact on South Korea and other nations. The new international economic order must develop a good regulatory system that can send quick signals when it detects corruption and incompetent regulators. Protection of innocent participants should be the focus, with greater punishment of corrupt businessmen and women and incompetent regulators. Obama knows the limits of America’s influence on building democracy, economic prosperity and human rights among developing nations in Africa and Asia. I like his understanding of the limits. However, this understanding is not enough for U.S. policy toward developing nations. Don’t bother them and don’t be bothered! It sounds good. Self-determination of each nation should be nurtured. However, this policy is only half acceptable. We should not just be spectators on North Korea’s nuclear arms development, because it endangers peace in Korea and the rest of East Asia. Unfortunately, I see nothing inside or outside of North Korea that can change Kim’s regime. Thus, we hope for a miracle in North Korea. Let us hope that 2009 sees the world get out of this global financial crisis, bringing the world peace and prosperity. |
[출처 : 코리아타임스]
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